Affair Fog: Causes and Signs to Watch Out For

Affair Fog Causes and Signs to Watch Out For

If you have ever been the victim of infidelity, you are well aware of how painful the experience can be.

You are also aware that a spouse who is cheating will always behave in a manner that is slightly different from what is typical for them.

Affair fog is the term that is most used to describe this shift in behavior.

These are the symptoms of Affair Fog:

They are in a fantastically good mood, until you ask them why, They get angry with you for no reason at all, They appear to be preoccupied, They create an emotional distance between the two of you, They get irritated by the kind things you do, Without warning, they suddenly start to treat you poorly, They try to bring you down

Signs to Watch Out for an Affair Fog 

Here are some warning indicators to look out for now that we know what causes affair fog and how the cheater copes with it.

1.     They are in a Fantastically Good Mood, Until You Ask Them Why 

This is one of the main things for which affair fog is famous. If your spouse is cheating on you, they are likely feeling quite good about themselves.

Imagine how you felt the first time you realized you had feelings for your current spouse. You were ecstatic and in a fantastic frame of mind.

The same principle applies to an affair fog.

They are going through all the same sentiments that they experienced at the beginning of your relationship, except now they are going through them with someone else.

Therefore, they may be in a pleasant mood, but in addition, they are experiencing a great deal of guilt.

When you ask them the reason for their recent amazingly great mood, it fills them with guilt and brings them down from that high that they were previously experiencing.

2.     They Get Angry with You for No Reason at All 

Once again, this takes place because they are emotionally destroying you for being such a terrible spouse in their eyes. It’s possible that this is wrong.

You may be the finest lover or girlfriend in the world, but if they’re having an affair, they will view you as a villain who is preventing them from living their life even if you’re the best there is in the world.

They will always be irritated with you because of the bad ideas that they have about you.

Even if there is no possible way that you could have behaved inappropriately.

They must see you in a bad light to continue to see their new crush in a good light.  It’s the affair fog.

3.     They Appear to Be Preoccupied

The term “affair fog” refers to the phenomenon in which your spouse is influenced or “captivated” by another person. They are preoccupied with something else and are not themselves.

If you discover that your significant other is engaging in this kind of activity, you should observe them closely.

Pre Occupied Woman

They may be preoccupied with something else, which is why they give the impression of being spaced out and not present during chats.

4.     They Create an Emotional Distance Between the Two of You 

This will be glaringly clear to everyone.

If you are emotionally connected to someone and you see that they are pulling away, you will know.

They won’t talk to you about how they’re feeling, and they won’t even ask you about your emotions in the same way that they used to.

This is a strategy they employ to prevent themselves from experiencing feelings of guilt.

They won’t feel as though they’re hurting you, even though they are, if they aren’t emotionally linked to you, which means they won’t feel like they’re hurting you.

5.     They Get Irritated by The Kind Things You Do

Do you routinely show your significant other kindness and consideration by doing pleasant things for them?

If you have previously been in a healthy relationship, then you most likely did so regularly.

Are the same things starting to irritate your partner more and more now? In that case, the fog surrounding the incident may be to blame.

When you do pleasant things, it destroys the picture that they have of you in their brain as being this horrible person that they have manufactured to justify the things that they do.

Because you are being polite it makes them feel even more guilty, they try to get you to stop doing those things so that they may relieve themselves of the emotions of guilt they are experiencing.

In other words, people become angry when you do it.

6.     Without Warning They Suddenly Start to Treat You Poorly

They cease doing the little things that you used to enjoy doing together.

Something is awry when they no longer appreciate you as much as they used to.

In most cases, it takes the form of a fog affair.

When someone is under the influence of another person’s spell, that person will convince them that they are right and that you are in the wrong.

They attempt to justify their actions by convincing themselves that it’s OK to tell you that you are the one who treats them poorly.

Therefore, they act in a manner that is consistent with this by avoiding doing good things for you.

7.     They Try to Bring You Down

To reiterate, they are trying to relieve themselves of their guilt by isolating themselves from you.

Because of the cloud over the affair, they will make nasty statements.

They will start pointing out your shortcomings in places where they previously wouldn’t have said anything at all about it.

These seemingly random put-downs are a significant red flag that you’re dealing with a cheater here.

What Exactly is this “Affair Fog”?

A person who is having an affair is said to be in an affair fog. This is a reference to both their mannerisms and their mental condition.

When they are with another person, they may begin to justify what they are doing to themselves by inwardly processing what they are doing and attempting to rationalize it.

That indicates that they need to find a way to feel less bad about what they did.

For them to achieve this goal, they initially point the finger of blame onto their partner.

Through the fabrication of false notions about their partner, they can persuade themselves that they are not engaging in any unethical behavior.

What are the Causes of Affair Fog?

Now that we understand what affair fog is, we need to investigate what creates it.

Let’s talk about a few of the more critical issues because several different things might be contributing to it.

1.     Cognitive Dissonance

If you’ve never heard of this phrase before, it refers to the tension that a person feels when they have two beliefs that are contradictory to each other. It refers to the tension that a person feels.

For instance, the person who cheats could typically consider themselves to be a morally upstanding individual.

However, since they are now cheating on their spouse and lying to them, we might consider them to be both a “decent person” and “a liar and cheater.”

You have to realize that those two things do not “go together” and that they are not compatible.

When this occurs, the person who cheats has to make an effort to reorganize their thinking to reduce the level of discomfort they feel when confronted with these two contradictory views about themselves.

For them to accomplish this goal, they will need to engage in some form of self-justification to get rid of the cognitive dissonance.

Therefore, even when they are shown proof that they are mistaken and that they are not a decent person, they do not alter the position that they first held on the issue.

Even if they are shown indisputable evidence that they are a liar and cheater, they will not accept it, not even to themselves. This holds even if the evidence is shown to them.

Therefore, to explain themselves, they resort to every means possible. They end up becoming a total hypocrite as a result of their attempts at self-justification.

2.     Their Brain Is “High” On Something

We do not intend to imply that they are actually under the influence of narcotics.

When a person is having an affair, their brain undergoes physical and chemical changes, making it significantly distinct from its typical state.

When a person is freshly in love or lust, the pleasure regions in their brain are excited.

This may happen for any emotion. To put it another way, it appears as though they are high because of the appearance of their brain.

Research has been conducted by scientists on this topic. When researchers examine the brain of someone high on cocaine and compare it to the brain of someone who is in love or passion, they find that the two brains look quite similar to one another.

Someone who is having an affair will behave in a manner consistent with someone who is under the influence of drugs.

Their mental state is what some people refer to as being on a “romantic high.”  When you’re under the influence of drugs, your thinking is clouded, isn’t it?

The feel-good neurotransmitters dopamine and norepinephrine are responsible for the euphoric high that comes with being in love.

Phenylethylamine is another pleasure hormone that is released throughout the process of falling in love. These substances have the potential to warp their perception of reality very literally.

How Can Those Who Cheat Get Through the Affair Fog?

Since those who cheat and suffer affair fog have a brain that is “high” and because they also feel cognitive dissonance, these people need to find a means to deal with both of these issues.

So, What Is Their Secret to Success Here? Here Are A Few Possible Approaches:

1.     Memory Distortion

When someone is aware that their actions have caused them to feel guilty, their desire to feel better is increased.

So, what is their secret to success here?

They achieve this by rewriting history and reinterpreting the events that have a place in the past. Some people refer to this as “truth-shifting.”

They are attempting to rewrite the events that took place during their relationship.

It is the process of fabricating false recollections to rationalize one’s actions and improve one’s feelings about themselves.

2.     Gaslighting

The goal of manipulating and confusing the other person is known as gaslighting.

For instance, if the betrayed partner confronts the cheater by pointing out that the cheater has arrived home from work late four times this week, the cheater will make the betrayed partner feel crazy.

This will cause them to question their memory, and possibly even cause them to question whether or not they are sane. In reality, this constitutes a type of mental abuse.

3.     Bias Toward Confirmation

The phenomenon known as confirmation bias occurs when somebody pays special attention to any information that supports what they already think while ignoring data that contradicts what they already believe.

The one who cheats will thus disregard any evidence that points to their dishonest behavior.

Final Thoughts on Affair Fog: Causes and Signs to Watch Out For

Not every victim will be able to figure out when their significant other is cheating on them. There are moments when the fog surrounding their affair is so delicate that it is difficult to discern.

In many cases, individuals do not even consider their partner’s new conduct to be problematic.

A relationship with someone unfaithful is impossible to maintain. You really can’t try to hold things together – if your partner is serious about someone else, it won’t work with you.

Things need to come to an end for the sake of your mental health.

If you’re already married, perhaps things can turn out differently. You might find it helpful to seek professional guidance to get with the aftermath of the cheating.

Sadly, being cheated on can have long-lasting consequences like a decline in self-esteem and problems with trust, among other things.

Because of this, it will be extremely difficult for a relationship to return to its previous state if one spouse has cheated on the other.

Read More: 

Leaving My Marriage for Affair Partner – Will I Regret This?

Once A Cheater Always a Cheater? True or Not?


Patricia Godwin

Patricia has many years of experience as a content writer on various subjects, and she is the Editor of Lifestyle Divorce. Patricia’s worked as the Practice Manager at an International Divorce and Family law firm for over 15 years. She is a qualified Counsellor, and she has had many counselling sessions with people considering or going through a divorce.

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