My Wife is Always Angry. Tips to Manage Her Anger!

My Wife is Always Angry. Tips to Manage Her Anger!

Men are all too aware of the difficulty in pleasing an angry wife. When things go wrong, her anger toward you is unmatched. No matter how many times you apologize, it still doesn’t feel right when your errors have made her utterly furious.

Here is a masterclass containing the following subjects – and so much more: Avoid losing your temper. Understand her standpoint. Know why she is angry, Initiate a conversation, and express your gratitude to her.

Angry Wife

Tips to Manage Your Wife’s Anger: 

You must respond to her in a responsible and constructive manner, regardless of whether it is the result of a misunderstanding or a previous argument.

Here Are Some Strategies for Managing an Irate Wife. 

Avoid Losing Your Temper.

No matter how furious your wife becomes, keep your composure. Keep in mind that one of the combatants must maintain their sanity and act appropriately.

If you both lose your cool, the argument might never end. Simply keep in mind that this will soon be resolved and try to be a little bit patient.

Understand Her Standpoint.

Are your wife’s daily responsibilities wearing her out? Because of this, has she been bugging you a lot?

It’s time you listened to her requests. Allow her to express her annoyance and rage toward you so that she can feel relieved.

The only approach to stop the recurring fights is to let it all out.

Know Why She Is Angry

Is your wife arguing with you about a ridiculous issue? Likely, the absurd situation was only meant to start a dialogue.

The impasse can be caused by a bigger problem. Because the conflict won’t be resolved unless you understand its root, try to identify it.

Initiate A Conversation

Inscribed in stone: The secret is communication.

You won’t know the problem unless you discuss it with your wife. You should indeed allow your wife to express her anger to you.

However, you shouldn’t be reluctant either. When she has calmed down, express your feelings to her.

Express Your Gratitude to Her

Bring her gifts, manage her chores, and make her feel at home. Now it’s up to you to show her how special she is to you.

She will instantly settle down if you show her affection and care. After that, she will begin to concentrate on the unique attention you provide her.

Know How to Handle an Angry Wife    

In a marital relationship, you could eventually have to deal with an irate wife. You want to make her happy since you are closest to her emotionally.

However, if a situation gets out of hand, it could be quite challenging to control it.

Things that run out of control typically begin with very few disagreements or misunderstandings.

With a little perseverance, honest conversation, and mutual respect, many issues may be resolved with ease.

The best course of action is to figure out how to deftly handle the challenging circumstance without losing your temper.

Let’s say your wife is so upset from a fight with a neighbor that she starts yelling at you as you enter your house.

What ought you to do? Should you also become enraged?

When such things happen, you should adapt and keep going. You have no idea who or what enraged her so much. You should prevent a disagreement from starting.

Sit her down if she starts to dispute with you. Conflict is the result of divergent viewpoints.

If it seems like there is nothing you can do about it, as with many marital problems; you feel you have no control over your partner; all you have control over is yourself.

Therefore, how should you respond to an irate spouse? 

Knowing the Fundamentals: The Root Cause of Anger

Hurt is the source of anger. Anyone who displays fury is expressing their suffering.

Furthermore, directing anger at a particular individual does not necessarily signify that they are the ones who injured you.

Sometimes people choose the most secure target to vent their rage on.

For instance, it’s possible that the hurt you’ve given your wife has prompted her to be angry with you. It can also be the pain she caused herself.

Alternatively, it might be harm brought on by someone else, perhaps even someone who injured her in the past.

The hurt that lies beneath someone’s persistent anger frequently has nothing to do with their marriage. Instead, it is due to a different circumstance in their lives over which they have no control.

Ideally, if something occurred in a marriage that caused resentment, it should be discussed. Even if no resolution is reached, at least both parties are aware of the problem’s root cause.

External Circumstances Might Be One of The Sources of Anger

One spouse, for instance, has very little control over the situation if work-related issues start to arise that puts their job stability in peril.

Compared to talking to your spouse, it is much harder to be upfront and honest about your feelings with your boss.

Anger develops and grows as a result of the lack of perceived control over the circumstance.

The anger may continue to grow as a result of the uncertainty about the future, ego injury, and wounded pride that can accompany losing a job.

Other external circumstances, such as (but not limited to) family concerns, boredom with life, feeling underappreciated, arguments with others (such as friend groups), money troubles, parenting difficulties, or increased stress, can also lead to anger.

What Then Do You Do When Your Partner Becomes Angry with You?

1.     Stop Being Reactive

It’s possible that you are not the cause of your spouse’s rage. You are the only person in your spouse’s life that they feel will listen without leaving or punishing, so instead of venting the anger on others, they are venting it on you.

Therefore, you will only make the problem worse if you respond badly to your spouse’s anger (which is probably not meant at you).

Consider it to be a cycle. The cycle is started by your spouse, and when you respond protectively and angrily, the cycle keeps spinning until it becomes a tornado.

Does that imply that you should remain silent and put up with improper behavior? No way!

However, you can defend yourself by remaining non-defensive and refraining from criticizing your partner. Show sympathy by saying things like, “I’m really sorry you feel that way. One method to ease stress is to say, “I hope things get better.

If your spouse insults you out of anger, tell them that you understand and that you have their support. Tell them to “Please realize that I feel disrespected by the way you are speaking to me”.

2.     Understand It’s Not About You

The cause of the rage is frequently unrelated to you. There are other things occurring. You might think you’re aware of your spouse’s situation, but this is not always the case.

You will be able to respond to your spouse more forcefully and calmly once you can stop seeing yourself as the object of their rage and see that there is a deeper issue at play.

3.     Apologize

Apologize if there was anything you did that made your partner angry.

Even though it may seem insignificant to you at the moment, if your spouse is already sensitive due to a situation outside of your control, even little things can have a major impact.

When appropriate, offer an apology. Avoid making excuses for things you didn’t do. Note: even if you didn’t mean it, you should apologize if your spouse took offense at something you said or did.

Don’t apologize, though, if you didn’t actually do something (for instance, if your spouse is upset that you lost something when you didn’t touch it). If you didn’t do it, you can say, “I’m sorry you’re mad about that,” but don’t say, “I’m sorry I did it.”

4.     Examine

There are occasions when you can tell what your spouse is doing that is making them angry. If so, remember that. You might not always feel aware of what is happening with your spouse.

There are two options available to you if this is the problem.

Firstly, try to first imagine what might be going on. Spending too much time on this can result in dread, worry, snooping, control, and a host of other horrible things, so try to limit your analysis.

Only consider doing so if you can rapidly put a few parts together. It will assist you in achieving the following goal.

Ask your spouse, “What is hurting you?” if you are in a position where you can do so in your marriage.” Your partner may become more vulnerable and start to break down barriers as a result.

However, your spouse might not reply to this question, though (or may not answer it fully). Step 5, below, deals with it in more detail.

Secondly, if you are unable to understand the source of your spouse’s rage, don’t think about it too much.

5.     Sympathize

Whether or not you are aware of your spouse’s situation is up to you. It is simpler to empathize if you do.

Great if your partner is able and willing to discuss the source of the resentment with you.

However, if your partner is distant and unwilling to discuss the situation, you could feel even more lost and perplexed. Never give up.

There is probably something going on that your partner is either a) ashamed of, b) afraid to tell you, or c) unaware of the actual cause of their rage. Don’t be concerned about this.

Recognize that all three of those responses are typical.

If your partner is ashamed, they could avoid bringing up the matter, and if your partner is reluctant to tell you, it’s probably because they are worried about what might happen if they were, to be honest with you.

If your partner is having trouble explaining what’s happening, it’s likely that they are dealing with a complicated issue that sprang from a previous hurt and is having trouble putting it all together now since it is so painful.

It is crucial to empathize, whatever the cause.

How Do You Express Empathy? 

The hardest aspect is being a safe place. Even though your marriage isn’t a safe place for you, you still need to be one for them. The expression of true love is to provide unconditional love even when you are not receiving it.

When your spouse does finally soften, if you can continue to be a safe haven for them, she will open up to you. There will be a breakdown of barriers, and your marriage will change.

Be constant – A business principle that also applies to life is that consistency is important.

Keep your empathetic behavior toward your partner consistent.

It is less likely that your spouse will trust you enough to share intimate details with you if one day you are loving and kind and the next you are harsh and defensive.

Does that imply you won’t experience terrible days? Of course not, but be sure to always act with love and grace, even if you think your spouse doesn’t deserve it.

Empathy is crucial both when the anger is still there and after your spouse discloses the source of the anger to you.

6.     Bear in Mind to Be Patient

The anger of your husband won’t just disappear instantly. As I previously mentioned, it might often take years before you realize what’s truly happening.

Be deliberate in your words and deeds in your marriage and live consistently.

Be patient, but keep in mind that your perseverance will be rewarded as long as you are consistent.

7.     Care for Yourself

You will be giving a lot of yourself to your partner during this time, and you might not feel like you are getting anything in return. People you can learn from should be in your immediate vicinity.

Join a small group of people who share your gender for support, humor, and laughing.

Only confide in reliable, impartial third parties about your marital problems; rely on your friends and family for humor and good times.

Hurt is the source of anger. Anyone who displays fury is expressing their suffering.

Furthermore, directing anger at a particular individual does not necessarily signify that they are the ones who injured you.

Sometimes people choose the most secure target to vent their rage on.

For instance, it’s possible that the hurt you’ve given your wife has prompted her to be angry with you. It can also be the pain she caused herself. Or it might be harm brought on by someone else, perhaps even someone who injured her in the past.

What Then Do You Do When Your Partner Becomes Angry with You?

Avoid Becoming Defensive

Do not take the offensive. Say something sincere like, “I’m very sorry that you’re hurt,” instead. Express your regret for what they are going through without focusing on what you did or did not do.

Admit it if you know you wounded someone. Don’t punish yourself for not doing it quickly. Instead, be real and say something like, “I’m sorry for the hurt I’ve caused you.” I’m sincere about that, so stop talking about it until your husband brings up what you did.

Try asking them to convey their hurt in their own words if your spouse has calmed down enough to have a genuine dialogue.

Do this out of genuine concern rather than out of a need to quarrel or justify yourself.

Listen Up

If your spouse does open up and discusses how you harmed them, pay close attention to the hurt that lies beneath the anger and anguish. Recognize your duty for the truth.

Don’t take ownership of actions you didn’t take. It can be difficult to do this without appearing defensive, but there is a way.

Nod empathetically without admitting what you didn’t accomplish. “I’m very sorry you’re hurt and feel that way”, you can say if you want to, and if it seems appropriate at the time.

You can often calm someone down by just listening to them carefully. When attempting to reason with an irate spouse, listening is essential.

Be Sympathetic and Perceptive 

It can result in healing for both of you if your irate spouse realizes that you care about them and are making an effort to understand.

We recognize that maintaining a compassionate and understanding attitude on your end can be challenging.

This is especially true if your spouse is engaging in an affair, an addiction, or something similar.

Listening is essential and it can help you move past the pain and toward a better relationship.

Final Thoughts on My Wife is Always Angry. Tips to Manage Her Anger!

We are sad about what you’re going through and understand how difficult it can be to deal with an angry spouse.

Avoid becoming defensive, have good listening skills, and show your spouse that you care about them and understand them.

By taking these actions, you may be able to calm your spouse’s rage against you.

Read More:

The Walk Away Wife Syndrome – What You Need to Know

Inappropriate Friendships When Married: 6 Signs To Look Out For

Patricia Godwin

Patricia has many years of experience as a content writer on various subjects, and she is the Editor of Lifestyle Divorce. Patricia’s worked as the Practice Manager at an International Divorce and Family law firm for over 15 years. She is a qualified Counsellor, and she has had many counselling sessions with people considering or going through a divorce.

Recent Posts