Starting Over After Divorce at 50

Upset middle-aged woman

The process of divorce is never simple, but it is made even more difficult when it occurs after a long marriage.

When you reach the age of 50, you begin to believe that you will spend the rest of your life with someone, making it difficult to start over when that future is no longer in sight.

Starting over after divorce at age 50 will entail several stages. First, you must accept what has occurred and allow yourself time to grieve. Then, you can begin to rediscover yourself by finding simple ways to enjoy life, reconnecting with old friends, and, eventually, finding love again.

Starting Over After Divorce at 50

All of this is easy to say, but much more difficult to put into practice when you’re in the middle of a crisis. The process can be made easier if you give yourself enough time and learn to live a full life once more, one step at a time.

The following suggestions will help you re-start your life after a divorce when you are 50 years old.

You Start Over Personally

It is critical for older adults going through a divorce to save money for the future, but it is often only a part of the equation when it comes to financial security.

If you are like many other people, you may be confronted with the prospect of being alone for the first time in a very long time.

Not only will you be separated from your spouse shortly, but your children may have grown up and moved out as well, leaving you feeling isolated and lonely.

To a certain extent, finding new ways to socialize and “putting yourself out there” is recommended by most divorce experts, both during and after the divorce process.

This does not imply that you should rush back into dating if you are not ready, but it does suggest that you provide yourself with an alternative to staying at home alone.

If you have the opportunity, consider volunteering at a local animal shelter or taking part in cleanup efforts in local parks.

Gaining a greater level of involvement in church-related activities may be an option for some people. Meet new people, make new friends, or reconnect with old friends who may have fallen out of touch throughout your life.

There are numerous options for reestablishing one’s social and personal life following a divorce, and our team can assist you in considering them throughout the process.

You Should Meditate

Incorporating meditation into your daily routine is extremely beneficial to your mental health, so make sure to do so.

If you have a few minutes in the morning while your coffee is brewing, spend them sitting in silence and taking deep breaths.

Maintain your attention on your breathing, and whenever your thoughts begin to stray away from it, gently bring them back to your breath.

Improve your stress response, reduce your anxiety, and become a happier, more focused person by spending even five minutes a day on your meditation practice.

Meditation can also assist you in living in the present moment and accepting whatever is in front of you.

This is particularly important during the period following the divorce.

Many people attempt to suppress their emotions, but this has negative consequences for their mental health. Meditation, on the other hand, can teach you to accept your feelings.

Consider the following example: if you’re depressed, acknowledge that you’re depressed.

Negative Emotions Must Be Released

Make use of the time following your divorce to let go of any negative emotions you may have. This can include feelings of rage, disappointment, fear, anxiety, and so on.

You are not benefiting from any of this, and it is only preventing you from living your most fulfilling life possible.

A therapist can assist you, but you must also put in the necessary effort on your own. Talk to your ex-partner if you think it will help. Inform them of your feelings. Inquire about the circumstances that led to the divorce.

In the vast majority of cases, it will not be you. It will almost certainly be something else, some underlying issue that you may have forgotten about or that you are aware of but have chosen to overlook.

This can help you gain a more realistic perspective and demonstrate that divorce is probably for the best in your situation.

Most divorces after the age of 50 do not occur on the spur of the moment, but rather for the mutual benefit of both parties.

Examine your innermost feelings to see if you were truly happy. Were you happy with your life, or was it just a matter of habit and comfort zone for you?

You may come to realize that divorce was in your best interests in terms of your mental and physical health and that you can look forward to a better future.

With that, you may be able to let go of some of the negative emotional burden associated with your marriage.

Find A Community Where You Belong

Participating in a support group of people who have experienced the same thing as you can assist you in moving on more quickly from your experience.

Perhaps a divorce support group exists in your city, but if there isn’t, you can join one of the many Facebook groups dedicated to this topic and meet other individuals.

Check with your network to see if anyone else has gone through something similar to what you are going through.

They may be able to assist you and provide you with some helpful hints. If they are unable to assist you, they can at least listen to you and allow you to express yourself.

Being surrounded by people who understand you and your current emotions will make it easier for you to get through your divorce with less difficulty.

As a bonus, you may meet new people who may turn out to be friends or even potential partners. However, you should hold off on making a romantic connection with someone until you are completely ready.

Experiment with Different Things

You should experiment with different things in the next stage. Take a playful approach and include both things that you find interesting and things that will completely push you outside of your comfort zone in your presentation.

Take, for instance, a dancing class — this is especially important if you are self-conscious about your dancing abilities.

Of course, if you truly despise something, you should stop doing it after a while.

However, before giving up, give it a few tries first. You may find it enjoyable. Try out a new instrument, learn a new skill, or experiment with new cuisine.

You will almost certainly dislike some of the things you try, but it is important to put yourself out there and see what happens.

Try out new things and see how these things will improve things for you. These new things may become a part of who you are right now.

After a certain point in their lives, people begin to believe that the person they are at that moment is the only person they will ever be in the future. However, the reality is that nothing is set in stone and that people are constantly evolving.

It’s possible that you were a reclusive accountant with no social life and a fear of anything outside of your daily routine. However, you may now be a successful yoga instructor with a large number of friends and a desire to have new experiences regularly.

Begin Keeping a Journal

Journaling can assist you in releasing all of the negative emotions that you may be holding onto, as well as serving as a tool for tracking your mental health. You may be able to identify your triggers — what makes you feel bad — as well as the things that bring you joy.

A journal is a valuable tool in the process of self-discovery. You should make a point of doing it every day, whenever you feel like it.

Suppose you just sit down and write freely, allowing your thoughts to roam around and land on the page? For your website, you can create a theme—for example, a page dedicated to your previous life before you got married.

Another good topic to discuss would be how you felt during your wedding ceremony. All of this is beneficial to you in terms of figuring out what to do next and finding some solace in your thoughts and reflections.

Take Good Care of the Emotions of Your Children

While you are dealing with your own emotions and grief, you must also consider the feelings of your children in the situation. Even though they may be adults with their own lives, your divorce will have a significant impact on them, according to research.

As a result, set aside some time for them. Inquire about their feelings regarding the divorce.

No matter how difficult it is, it is your responsibility to protect the other party from any resentment they may harbor toward you or your partner. No one should be held responsible.

Assist them through the process by explaining what happened and providing assistance where necessary. Their acceptance of the fact that their parents are no longer in love with each other can be extremely difficult for them to handle.

Because children look up to their parents in a variety of ways, especially when it comes to finding love and forming their marriage, it disillusions them in a way.

However, this will be difficult for you at the same time. You have to deal with someone else’s emotions while also dealing with your own. This can be difficult.

However, if you want to maintain a positive relationship with your children, it is an essential part of the process to follow.

Start Over Financially

When a couple gets divorced, money is often a major factor to consider, regardless of their age. However, for couples over the age of 50, money is especially important.

Perhaps the most important thing you can do is to keep your long-term financial well-being at the forefront of your mind throughout the divorce process.

As a result of your divorce, you will require financial support because you will no longer be able to rely on the income of your spouse.

Maintenance may be discussed as part of your divorce negotiations, but with retirement on the horizon, it is possible that maintenance will not be a viable long-term solution.

A fair share of the marital assets that you and your spouse have amassed is also yours to keep if you and your spouse divorce. In the majority of cases, your share should be sufficient to at the very least provide you with something to start with as you move forward.

If your circumstances change, you may be required to resume employment following your divorce, possibly for the first time in your life.

A job search can be intimidating for someone who has been out of the workforce for a long period or who has never worked outside the home. It’s most likely that you don’t even have any idea where to start with.

Don’t look at it in a negative light, but instead regard it as an opportunity to re-create yourself.

Think of it as discovering your strengths and showing them off to your advantage.

Who knows – maybe opening the door on a job will be like opening yourself up to a new and positive adventure. Moving on into your 50s and getting stronger and more confident is the healthiest way of coping with starting over. 

Patricia Godwin

Patricia has many years of experience as a content writer on various subjects, and she is the Editor of Lifestyle Divorce. Patricia’s worked as the Practice Manager at an International Divorce and Family law firm for over 15 years. She is a qualified Counsellor, and she has had many counselling sessions with people considering or going through a divorce.

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